I will listen
by Nefariously
Summary: Something I thought of in the weirdest of times. again Shounenai. Lavi/Kanda.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm really starting to like the pairing Lavi/Kanda so I wrote (10) a mini story on the pairing. It's really light but quite fluffy.**

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Lavi was scared of many things. The only asset that differed him from the other's was the fact that he hid it so well. He could hide any emotion behind that quirky smile. One might say he was a sociable person – which he was – but none of them really knew anything about him.

He could chat for years about his travels in china, how many girls he managed to pick up, what he ate, what he wore, but if you ever try to strike a conversation with him – an _actual_ conversation – he would hastily change the subject and avoid you for the rest of the day.

Allen and Lenalee learnt from experience that you couldn't push him. Sure, he would shrug it off and laugh away with you, but he was just that little more reserved next time you speak to him. It was hard to know whether Lavi was really your friend or just a comrade – one that he wouldn't save in times of need.

And so people laughed along with him, not really understanding, and hardly ever caring. Lavi liked it that way. Hell, he _needed_ it that way. Bookmen weren't supposed to have feelings for anything – anyone.

Yet if that was true… why was Kanda different?

Lavi couldn't deny it himself. However much he wanted to deny it, there was just something with the Japanese exorcist that separated him from the rest. No matter how hard he tried to act the same around him, he just couldn't help but pour his heart out to the boy.

He knew that nothing could stop him from muttering all his secrets out to him, on the compartment, in the cafeteria – anywhere they couldn't be seen from prying eyes. Perhaps it was because of the silence that always enwrapped them, almost as if he wasn't listening, almost as if he wasn't interested.

That was what Lavi thought him to be at first – completely apathetic. He would soon learn that this wasn't so. He had no idea how much attention he payed when Lavi was speaking – when anyone was speaking. He just – didn't like what they were saying. In Allen's case – certainly.

He found it oddly comforting that he had someone to listen to all the sad details of his life. He could just sit for hours in front of the boy, muttering curses about everyone he knew. He would listen but never comment. He never commented on why Lavi hated Allen, why he hated his life, why he hated his bookman duties, why he hated simply hated… everything.

Kanda wouldn't turn a cold ear – he wouldn't do that. He would sit with Lavi in silence and listen.

Lavi was happy there was someone to listen yet at the same time, he wanted something _more_.

He knew he should be happy that Kanda didn't slice him at the first chance he got but still – he knew that he wanted more. It was unquestionable.

Every time Lavi laid eyes on the boy, he would feel something roaring inside him. No, he didn't understand what this emotion was. After all, he wasn't supposed to feel any emotion at all.

But emotion wasn't something that he could suppress. He couldn't help but feel. But that was all he did. He only felt. He never actually _did_ anything.

But that all changed. That all changed when Komui sent them on a mission to Paris. A long term mission that went for several months.

'We have discovered akuma in Paris a long time ago,' he said to them, 'Although they had been terminated by numerous exorcists, they just keep on coming. We think that there might be a broker in our midst. What I want you to do is simple, yet time consuming – most likely.

I want you to go undercover as two citizen's of Paris. To become a citizen, you would have to research their ways of course. I trust that Lavi would have the suitable knowledge to teach himself and Kanda everything you need to know about Paris. You will leave in a week so I expect you to know everything by then.'

Komui nodded, and they knew they had been dismissed.

It wasn't surprising that Komui had used such a grave tone – he was serious about missions, thank goodness to most people. And broker's were the hardest to get rid of, because they hid so well. So Lavi estimated that they would stay at Paris for a while.

He wouldn't have minded if it was a solitary mission but... months and months with Kanda? This wa going to be a nightmare, that much he was certain. He had trouble containing himself when he merely crossed paths.

Oh god.

--

Kanda didn't like the idea of having to study with Lavi, of course. But he didn't seem to oppose it either. When Lavi bombarded into his room early in the morning, hoping to catch Kanda unawares, he was greatly disappointed to see him sitting on the bed, fully dressed.

'Let's go study,' he said, with the faintest touch of disappointment in his voice.

Kanda agreed and so they set off for the library.

The library was a place of refuge for Lavi. It was just like the forest was for Kanda. Each time he felt down, each time he felt the monster inside him grow bigger from need, he would always retreat back into the cosy selves stacked full of musty, old books.

It was almost like a home to him. Because all the other members of the order never really used the library except for times of utmost need – he would often find himself dozing off on a table, too tired to read anymore.

But now that Kanda was here, Lavi almost felt as though he was revealing a secret hideout. 'This library is sorted by the Dewey decimal system,' he said. 'the fiction books are on the right and the non-fiction are on the left.'

'The books that we are looking for are most likely on the far side of the library. Follow me.'

Obediently, he strolled behind as Lavi looked curiously back. The know-it-all voice that he used could be called snobbish. It was a surprise that Kanda didn't make a snide remark.

'I think this whole shelf is on Paris and Italy,' he said, pointing at the rows of multi coloured books. Kanda grunted and slowly walked along the shelf, stopping to pick one or two books out. Lavi followed suit and soon they had 6 whole piles on the table.

'I think we should stop now,' said Lavi. Kanda nodded and they set down reading. Time ticked as silence enwrapped them. Lavi soon got immersed into the book, as he always does. But he could always feel Kanda's presence sitting right next to him.

He could almost feel the warmth radiating from his body. Surprisingly, it seemed that Lavi felt just a bit more safe with him, because he found that he got through 19 books in record time.

At about 12 o'clock, Lavi yawned and stretched, exercising his muscles that he kept still for so long. 'Let's go take a break, how about that, Yuu-chan?' he asked.

When he saw Kanda slumped body, he smiled. With his eyes closed and head lying on top of a book, Lavi took him to be asleep. Suddenly, Kanda grunted and his head twitched a little. 'Mmm,' he mumbled, 'it hurts..'

Lavi jumped a little, surprised that Kanda could sleep-talk. What did he mean when he said 'it hurts?' Lavi looked at him closely, and he saw it. His chin was perched painfully on a hard book. It wouldn't have been comfortable.

He swung his legs over the bench and lifted Kanda's head gently into his lap. To Lavi's surprise, Kanda snuggled in closer and his breathing became deeper. Lavi simply melted at the sight. He never knew Kanda could be so… what was that word for it? What was that word for the little boy curled in his lap?

He nearly laughed at the insanity of it. Then something struck him as odd. Each time he got even relatively close to Kanda, he would feel… something… something bad. But he didn't feel anything now. It was a strange sense of peace.

Kanda shook slightly and clutched his shirt tightly. Lavi's mouth opened a bit until he realised that he was cold. He reached down for his hand and clasped it tightly. It was frozen. He slipped his coat off and wrapped it around Kanda's shivering body, marvelling at the scene.

--

When Kanda woke, he felt surprisingly warm. In fact, more warm than he usually was at night. His mouth twitched into a frown as he remembered what was happened in the morning. He felt a strange weight on his back and he could hear someone breathing.

This was bad.

Lavi head lolled as Kanda sat up abruptly. His coat slipped off his shoulders as he surveyed the scene. Lavi had fallen asleep on top of him – an auspicious sign by itself. Lavi's exorcist coat was wrapped around them.

He sighed and seeing no one around them, gently let Lavi rest on his lap. Of anyone came, he would just quickly shove him off.

No one came for ages, and Kanda continued to read, improving his English at the same time. Slowly, very slowly, he began to read about subjects off topic, all the while almost unconsciously running his hands through Lavi's flaming red hair.

The bunny himself was asleep and looked as if he wouldn't wake up for a long time so he started reading to himself. Quietly of course – he didn't want to wake him.

He had been reading one of Shakespeare plays, Romeo and Juliet. He had heard of it before, but never read or seen as a play.

'O Romeo, Romeo!' he muttered, 'wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name! Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet.'

'When he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars and he will make the face heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.'

'They may seize on the white wonder of dear Juliet's hand and steal immortal blessing from her lips, who, even in pure and vestal modesty-'

'Still blush, as thinking their own kisses sin,' Lavi finished for him.

Kanda jumped up and ran two steps back. Shit. How was he going to explain this?

'How long have you been awake?' he demanded.

'Since you started quoting,' he replied, picking himself off the bench.

'W…Why didn't you move then?' he spluttered.

'Because,' he pulled the coat on slowly, not one trace of the humour evident, 'you listen when I have anything to say. I am just returning the sentiment.'

For once, Kanda was speechless.

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**This was originally not going to go online but… Oh well… Hope you like it. Sequel likely but… Yeah… **


	2. Chapter 2

Second chapter up…

**Chapter 2 of Listening. Written some time ago some aspects might not make sense… I'm still not really skilled at writing multi chapter fics. O.o**

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As days passed, a kind of routine was formed. It consisted of Lavi getting up, bombarding into Kanda's bedroom, dragging him to breakfast and then reading in the library.

Both knew that from the first day, they had known the knowledge needed. But they kept on going, enjoying being with the other person. An unknown agreement had been passed through the two. Neither were very good with at compromises, and they liked it the way it was – silent.

Finally, as the day came when they were set to leave, Allen came to see them both off.

'Good luck,' he said. He hugged Lavi and whispered something inaudible in his ear. Giving a slight nod at Kanda, he ran off, leaving the two alone in a station full of people.

A whistle signified that the train was going to leave and they hastened to get on. Struggling with their suitcases, they entered the first class compartment. Kanda watched as Lavi made himself comfortable, carefully putting his luggage on a railing – he left his on the ground.

'It's going to be a 9 day ride to the Paris, Yuu-chan. Aren't you going to put your suitcase –'

'No.' Kanda answered dryly.

Lavi sighed. After all these years, and just when he thought Kanda was starting to warm up to him… Well… Maybe that was just a foolish hope. But there was a plus side. Maybe it was because he seemed to be always in Kanda's presence but he found that he didn't have that monster roaring inside him anymore…

It seemed to have gone silent.

'Ne, Yuu?'

'What?'

'Nothing,' he said, a bit sadly.

Kanda gave a 'che' and closed his eyes, about to take a nap.

Lavi eyed him carefully. There was soon no sound in the compartment except for slight external noises that were reduced heavily because of the soundproof walls that surrounded.

Didn't this happen only a week ago?

'And don't you dare touch me.'

Alright, this didn't happen…

With another sigh, Lavi propped his arms onto the window, gazing as the dull London streets turned into the country side. Meadows flew past, a blur of green and yellow. He watched as the sun danced across the sky, he watched as it slowly slid down the horizon. At around 7, the whole sky became dark, and Lavi couldn't see anything at all.

'It's already night,' Kanda's voice was soft.

Lavi looked up, hardly surprised by the surprise. He didn't even answer. He just kept on staring outside.

'Lavi…' Kanda's voice was barely a whisper, 'what's wrong?'

He shook his head, and finally replied. 'There _is_ nothing wrong.'

'Why are you hiding this from me? You never used to.'

Lavi shrugged. 'Why should I tell you when you never tell me what's in your mind?'

Kanda frowned, as if thinking the whole thing over. 'You want to know?' his eyes were downcast, a shadow of what they used to be. Somehow, the few harsh words that Lavi had said turned his world upside down. Somehow.

'Well I'll tell you… I am afraid. I am scared of many things.'

Lavi's mouth gaped. He wasn't expecting Kanda to confess. Much less confess to a matter that was so personal. The serious tone he used betrayed his sincerity and the irony of it all kept Lavi from laughing out loud. After all, he was afraid too.

They were exorcists for goodness sake. They were supposed to save mankind.

But perhaps only the exorcists and generals really knew just how much of a burden it was. To save a world that needed to be saved. They had to save people who screamed to be saved and those who were unwilling.

So who would save them when they needed it?

Besides, Kanda had something else to worry about as well.

'Oh…'

Lavi simply couldn't think of anything nice to say. He regretted snapping at Kanda now. He should have known better. He should have known that Kanda wasn't apathetic like he seemed. In fact, Lavi could say that he was even more sensitive than most.

He feared rejection. Of course, without him really saying it, Lavi learned his life story. Kanda wasn't a robot. He loves and lusts like any human does. But just like Lavi, he had hid it under a thick façade. Kanda's was a wall of coldness and his was cheerfulness.

No one understood that he wasn't happy at all? He never was happy. Each time he made a joke, it would sound dry and useless towards him. It made other's happy, so in turn he would be a little happier. Then, he met Kanda.

The interaction between them wasn't pleasant at first, with Lavi latching onto Kanda at the first chance he got. Lavi had been amused by his reaction and he looked for more amusement. It was like a curse almost. Nearly every word he said was fake, nearly every action he made was fake.

'Kanda?' he asked.

He stared at Lavi, silently inviting him to go on.

'Do you… love me?'

There was silence as Kanda's eyes slowly widened. Lavi waited impatiently, knowing it would unwise to push him in these circumstances.

'Of course I don-'

It was enough.

Lavi pounced on top of him and pinned him to the seat. Kanda tried to struggle but Lavi's grip was firm. He heaved him upright and grabbed his arm. With his free hand he tried to gripe Lavi off but all efforts were fruitless. His fingers were so slim against Lavi's.

Lavi other hand reached up to Kanda's hair and he pushed their lips together.

Kanda's face lit up like a tomato as he blushed profusely, still struggling weakly. But soon he gave up and slumped against his touch. Lavi deepened the kiss before breaking away. He didn't let him go, instead he marvelled at the kneeling boy in front of him.

'Are you giving up already?' Lavi asked.

Kanda bowed his head and muttered dismissively, 'isn't this what you wanted?'

'Yes. But what about you?'

Kanda didn't answer and Lavi cringed.

'Just tell the truth, Kanda,' he urged.

'I hate you,' Kanda answered flatly, looking away.

Lavi sighed released Kanda from grip. He sat back onto the seat and looked at Kanda in earnest.

'If you hate me so much, why didn't you cut me up with mugen?' Lavi asked curiously.

He didn't answer for a while. Kanda popped his arms on the window and stared outside. 'I don't hate you in that way,' he said.

'What do you mean?'

'Don't worry… Just know that I don't love you, rabbit.'

Lavi gave another sigh and smiled weakly. 'Yeah… I can understand that.' He opened his eye's to say something again but decided against it.

Some things were safer unsaid.

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**Review please**

**LaviYuu love forever .**

**(I really need to write more because the last few weeks have **


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